at the stanley hotel 

Another fun filled day! And I had lots of pictures I wanted to post but I figured just one. We went to a gold mine and panned for gold. The old mill part was still there and that was pretty creepy, like the Silent Hill movie. I kept waiting for the air raid siren to go off. After the gold mine we just drove around for a while, up a scenic road through the mountains. Sometimes we would come over these peaks into falling snow! Lots of snow but none of it was sticking. It was beautiful! Then we went to a state park near Boulder that is a big rock climbing place. Really cool watching the climbers and more beautiful scenery. Also saw a mountain goat! This picture is from the drive up the scenic road. You can see the aspen trees glowing gold in their fall colors on the ridge. So pretty!
Saturday

One of the most amazing rainbows I've ever seen! It brought immediate shouts of "They're after me lucky charms!" in our worst Irish accents from Mary, Ken, Willow and I. We went to Estes Park, CO to take the ghost tour of the Stanley Hotel. We didn't see any ghosts but it was loads of fun anyway. The hotel itself is lovely, I would love to stay there! And the town, Estes Park, I fell in love with the first time I went there back in May. I totally could see living there!
Rainbow

Alright! Denver, Colorado. Here is to a busy and good first day. Got up about 8am after forcing myself to sleep that late. I actually woke up at 5:30am but I said hell no! Go back to sleep! After a crazy phone call with a man that barely spoke English, my rental car arrived about 8:30am. Woo hoo for the Jeep! I love it and they knocked off about $130 bucks off the cost. Shit yeah. Willow and I headed straight out for coffee and tea. Who ever heard of dry or wet cappuchino? Craziest damn question I ever heard. Then showers all around. Next, Willow decided that he was buying Mary and Ken a big tv for their wedding present. Guess he was tired of watching on a smaller tv. So off to Best Buy, then Walmart. At Walmart we got a 32 inch tv, 4 pumpkins, 3 coffee mugs and a loaf of bread. Where else could you buy such random stuff in one stop? Next stop, my first meal at Sonic. Yay watermelon slushie! Back to the house, unload and set up the tv. Ken decided he wanted a tv stand so back out we went. We decided to do it up college style and headed for the home depot. Got cinder blocks and particle board-hell yeah. Spent the next hour or so making sure the tv and stand were all set up good. A nice little thunderstorm blew up about then. It was awesome being able to see the whole storm so well because the land is so flat with no trees. From the second floor of the house I could see the downdraft from the storm blowing up dust from a couple of miles away. That was cool. Almost 3pm by then, Ken was having band practice so Willow and I headed out to Red Rocks. That place is awesome! I have to see a concert there, it was amazing. Built into the side of the mountain with those famous huge red rocks along the sides. We started at the bottom and walked up the mountain side ampitheater steps. Bad idea. Altitude anyone? Holy shit, I was so out of breath at the top it was unreal. Willow almost passed out, his 2 pack a day smoking self. There was a neat hall of fame with lots of pictures of people that performed there inside the visitors center. Then it started raining so we hurried back down to the jeep. Of course as soon as we got to the car it stopped raining. So we drove around the park, took lots of pictures and just generally got swept away by the scenery. Great views of the plains. Oh yeah, and a rainbow! I haven't seen a rainbow in ages. Beautiful. Then as we were leaving we noticed a place across the street on a smaller foothill that had fossils and stuff. Dinosaur fossils and tracks. That was pretty damn cool too. I haven't seen stuff like that outside of museums. Back home again by 7pm and ordered pizza for dinner. Mary should get home about 10pm tonight. Yay Mary!

Red Rocks

Today was a traveling day. I was a ramblin' man, so to speak. Even more important, it was the first day of vacation! So got up about 8am and finished packing, showered, hung out with my dad, all that good stuff. Then off to pick up Willow by 10:30am. Back to my house, load up the car, say goodbye to the parents and off to the airport. No major problems at the airport. Willow's real name is a very common name so he couldn't get his boarding pass the night before on the computer, he had to get it that morning at the airport. Weird, I had no idea. Then he got picked for one of those random bag checks by the TSA. Not a problem though, he didn't have any liquids or anything. Then a 4 hour flight sitting in the middle seat. Sigh. All for my friend. He wanted the window, it was a crowded flight and he wanted me next to him instead of a stranger because it was the first time he had flown in 20 years. Sigh. I hate the middle. Especially on a long-ish flight. I survived, he survived, but I am going to do my best not to do that for the return flight. One of my favorite things happened, in regards to flying. It was heavy overcast, a little rain, when we took off. I love when you finally break through the clouds and into the bright blue sky above with the sun shining. We arrived in Denver, Ken met us at the gate because he works in the airport so he can do that. Then our other snag. The car rental place was out of cars. Nuts. But I did my best to stay cool and not yell at the poor guy at the counter. It wasn't his fault, you know? Doesn't do any good to bitch at him. So I was nice and in return he was so grateful that I didn't yell at him or anything, so then I felt good. Not a big deal really, not having a car right away since Ken was there. He took us to the house then out to this great chinese restaurant. Then a little bit of grocery shopping and home again. The three of us stayed up for a little while, just hanging out and bullshitting. But I was so tired by 10pm here, 12 midnite back home, that I had to go to bed!

At my house, we have this awesome bush in the backyard called a butterfly bush-because of all the butterflys it attracts. And man does it ever! Mostly in the late summer, like now, the butterflys will just be swarming all over it. And they are so beautiful. I just love the blue on this one. There were about 4 other butterflys today that I got pictures of but I think this picture turned out the best. Just lovely.
Butterfly

This is a couple days late, should have been for Monday. Oh well. Willow did the most wonderful thing, he made me a halloween quilt! It is filled with the spooktacular goodness! This is his first quilt and he did it for me! :) Yay! I love it! The witch in front of the moon is so cool! Good job Willow!
My Halloweeen Quilt

Why am I irritated? I should be relieved, right? Now I wish I could talk plainly on here. Now I wish I had not given this out to everyone. Moving on, trying to stay on track with this blog.
My dad came home on Tuesday. Which is amazingly good news, since he has not been home since April 11th, the morning that he fell at work and broke his ankle. He is weak and not the same as he used to be. Too much has happened for that. But he is home and he is better than he was. He is happy to be here and not in the hospital and we are happy to have him here! He will get stronger now and adapt to his new life and everything is going to be good, I just know it. We had to put up this ramp to the back door because my dad can't walk up steps yet and the ramp is just amusing me to no end. It is long, really long. Like 30-40 feet long. Metal grate like thing that goes from the driveway across the length of the backyard, over the steps to the back door. Every morning I leave to go to work and I just want to race down it. Until this morning when I realized all the spiders have spread their webs across it. Ugh, I hate walking through webs! But about the ramp, it just makes me wish I was a kid because I would have had endless entertainment as a child with this big old metal ramp in the backyard playing with my friends. The boys are going to love it when they come up, if my mom lets them anywhere near it!

Your Birthdate: January 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations.You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you.Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans.You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Ah glorious Saturday! I was supposed to work this morning but the remnants of tropical storm Ernesto knocked out the power at the branch so no work! How awesome is that? So I have a three day weekend! No work! Not at the wheel on Sunday either! Holy cow, if I had known, I would have went somewhere. So an unexpected morning to sleep in did a lot for my spirits today. Then Shawn and I went to the movies and saw Talladega Nights. Shit, did I spell that right? Whatever. It was funny. The beginning very funny, the middle ok, the end satisfying. Now the closing credits with the outtakes were great! After the movie, we went to Rocky Run and got some food. Then home. A nice night with good conversation and a funny movie. Of course since I slept in like mad this morning I couldn't fall asleep until after 2am. I got into one of those creative headspaces where I want one of three things. Hmm, dilemma. To mention those three things on a blog where my friends might read it. I guess not. But I know what I am talking about so that is all that matters, I know what mood I am referring to. So I wrote for a while and that always seems to help. I wonder which chakra that is? 1st, 2nd or 3rd? I used to know. Actually I think it is a little bit of all three. I am rambling now and I bet only Mary might know what I am talking about. Hi Mary! And of course as much as I thought about it, I couldn't get myself to open my mouth and say those words. Grr. Maybe one day I will work past that fear. I did email Mike and say something that I am sure he never thought would come out of my mouth. I told him I thought he and KC should get married--because when you get married you get alot of money! Sigh...Alright, this blog no longer makes much sense. Did I mention that I have been sleeping upside down in my bed?

Becky, Jamie, Jamie's Mom and Me 

It's been awhile. 9 days I think. At work, they took the internet away and that was when I would update this blog. I am missing the internet greatly at work. The branch I am at now is so slow and there is not much to do. But I was not setting a very good example as the teller supervisor and being on the internet all the time! So I will probably not being leaving a blog a day here any longer. Unless...I could write my blogs down on paper and then that one time a week that I actually make it online at home I could post all of them at once. Well, it is an idea. Because I am pleased with how long I kept this going. I am not sure if it is doing exactly what I intended it to do but it is not a bad thing either, putting my thoughts down all in one place. And occasionally my friends would stop by, which was always nice.
So I shall update and not write blogs for the days I have missed. This whole month of August has really been quite crazy. Heck, really I bet it has been the whole summer. I know Pete and Shawn are wondering where the hell I have been. Still some pain from the tooth pulling. Not as bad as last fall but uncomfortable nonetheless. Oh wait. Crap. I am only supposed to be writing about good things! Damnit! Let's start this over.
Jamie's wedding was Saturday and it was lovely. No problems at all. The flowers were gorgeous, Jamie was beautiful, my hair-if I do say so myself-was amazing. Of course the hairstylist did it in some crazy up-do, I really had nothing to do with it except supplying the hair! The cake was quite tasty. The best man, Erik, was very nice to me and good looking too. Everyone, really, was very nice to me and did their best to help me feel welcome since the only people I knew were Jamie, Andy, Jamie's dad and stepmom and some bank people that were invited. I did my best to be sociable and talk to people and smile. But it was such a mental and physical relief to leave at the end of the evening. To get out of that dress, hose, and heels, wipe off the lipstick, and relax into the quiet of my car. There were a couple of issues for me that day but I am not supposed to talk about the unpleasant stuff, right? I guess the good part about my issues is I don't think Jamie noticed I was having any issues. At one point her uncle did, though, and he asked me dance and that was very sweet. Ah shit, it wasn't my day, so what the hell does it matter anyway? Jamie and Andy had a great time and now they are off in Hawaii. Lucky bastards. Even luckier-we added up the money they got that evening-$5000! Holy shit! If I don't get married, can I have a party where everyone gives me money for living on my own? For surviving as a single woman in today's world? I think that deserves some presents, god damnit!
Alright, so that was the big event of the last week or so. Plus today I finally got my hair cut. For Jamie, I didn't cut my hair all year because I know she likes it better long and that she wanted us all to wear our hair up. So I let it grow and grow and I was so uncomfortable all summer but I did it for her and now the wedding is over and my hair is gone! And that makes me so happy and I feel so free now! Yay! And my happy topic for the last few weeks is still on my mind-vacation is just 2 weeks away! 2 weeks!

Hey Mary! You out there today? I can't stop thinking about this trip! I can't wait to see you guys and hang out! couple of questions. Anything in particular you guys want to do with us? Like rocky mountains or garden of gods? Anything else to do that we have overlooked? And, oh yeah, do you think the foliage will be changing up in the mountains while we are there? I would love to see some of the golden aspens!

Very good day today. Got up early and went to the buddhist temple with Willow and Greg. We missed morning meditation but made it in time for class. It was interesting. A taped lecture from the Jetsunma mostly about buddhism in general and how important it is. Not to be afraid, as a Westerner, to be different. That being buddhist is not like being christian. It is a lifestyle, not about how frequently you go to church, or temple. The lecture was titled the stakes are high. I enjoyed it. One part that really stuck with me was she was talking about self and other. When we individualize our selves, separate our selves, consider our selves to be independent then we automatically create "other". And the first time we see an "other", be it a person or an object, because it is separate from ourselves we judge it. Do we need it or not need it? Will it hurt us or not hurt us? Help us or not? Buddhism teaches that that belief in indepence is false. And that until we realize that we are not separate from everything else, we will only continue to hurt each other.
But the other interesting part of my day was at class tonight we started Hindu metaphysics. And a lot of the terms I heard in the Jetsunma lecture, I heard again in class tonight! Like samsara. I made a point to highlight all the terms I heard in both places. Pretty cool.
Also at the temple I got a small singing bowl. I love it! Took it to class of course I opened and closed with it. I told everyone at show and tell about quitting smoking and finally got the support I had been wanting about it. Everybody cheered and gave me hugs. That was really good and supportive. Oh yeah and at the temple I got a cd of chants and mantras to White Tara and a picture of her. That goes back to a dream that I had almost a year ago about Her. After the dream I had promised to come to KPC but I didn't. So I owed Her.

I have had enough of these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane! yay for 110 minutes of sillyness and snakes at 35000 feet. I had a good time. So did Pete and Shawn I think. Still pain. Woke up with it. Then had chinese for dinner-lo mein-and it started hurting again. Sigh. Slept in today like I have been wanting to all week. I love saturdays off so that I can sleep, sleep, sleep!

Hey, do I need to have Samuel L. Jackson call you losers again or are we gonna go see mother fuckin snakes on the mother fuckin plane!! Hells yes! When? Saturday? Let's go!

Friday was a decent day. Got out of work early, always a good thing! Then the 200th episode of Sg-1 which was freaking hilarious! The best was either the star trek spoof or the farscape spoof. lovely, I love when shows make fun of themselves! Otherwise, still had some pain and still really tired. Another bad night sleeping too!

I slept through the night! No waking up to take pain medicine, no massaging the jaw, no going to the bathroom. It was glorious! Nothing refreshes and recharges quite like a good nights sleep. Especially after terrible sleeping for the past week or so. And I am so excited for this trip to Denver! We keep talking and planning and I just can't wait!

Ok Pete, Willow and Mary. I have been looking on the web for cool stuff for us to do on our trip. How do we feel about going to a gold mine? Panning for gold? I tried to find a place where we could pan for gemstones but no luck. Hot mineral springs? A neat sounding state park called Roxborough. You know the Celestial Seasonings Tea? They have a factory with a tour and a cafe in Boulder. I really want to go there, I love their tea. There is a Peak to Peak highway that starts in Nederland ( Mary you can tell us if that is relatively doable, it says it is 35 miles west of Denver) and finishes in Estes Park. Any other suggestions or stuff people want to do? Pete, I have found lots of state parks where you can rock climb if you are interested. I would love to have some suggestions on what people want to do. I still want to go to Garden of the Gods and horseback ride. What about Red Rocks Mary? Is that open like a park? Anybody playing there while we are in town? I am so excited for a vacation!

By the way, one week! One week with only 2 cigarettes! I went to the store and I got 2 nice shirts for on sale for 20 bucks! That was good. I also found the shoes I need for the wedding, I just have to buy them tomorrow. My dad got moved to rehab today! Finally! Now if he can just stay there and heal and not go back to the hospital. And his rehab is really close to my work which is super cool, I can stop by after work or even on my lunch if I wanted to! I probably won't do that. I like my lunch breaks for reading.

Tuesday was a quiet day. Quiet and slow at work. My dad is still doped up on the morphine so he was quiet too. He didn't even open his eyes while I was there, which I really don't mind. He needs the rest and it is quite a change to see him lying in bed peacefully. Quiet evening at home, me reading, my mom napping on the sofa, tv on quietly in the background. Only issue I am having right now is pain from the pulled tooth. Almost the same as last year. Pain in the jaw and dry socket. Taking vicodin at work and percocet at home. Everyday. And it seems to be getting worse, not better. This is crap.
Good news: still haven't smoked. It is hard but not as hard as I thought it would be. I am too distracted by the pain, I think.

Okay everybody! Just found out the bank is sponsoring a hershey park day! Not as good as many years ago but cheaper than normal price. $18.00 admission includes food, sort of picnic style like last time for those of you that went. October 1st, it's a Sunday. Who is coming with me? I definitely want to go! Yay rollercoasters!

Shhuuueeeyyy! I am tired! I just made up my own word. I like it. Very long day today. My mom called at 7:30am to let me know that my dad was going in for surgery at 9:30am. I slept for another 45 minutes then headed down to the hospital where I hung out with my mom and dad until surgery. We even got to stay with him down in the pre-op area. Then they took him in and amputated his toes on both of his feet. I came home and slept for about an hour while my friend Anya went in and opened the Turning Wheel for me. I went into work an hour late at 1pm but I really needed that nap! Worked all afternoon then back to the hospital to hang with my dad. My mom and my sister were there then my aunt showed up. My dad was pretty much out of it on morphine. But it was nice us girls hanging out. Came home, ate dinner, read my book and finally, after taking 2 percocet, I went to sleep!

Jamie's bachelorette party was tonight! Nothing too crazy or outrageous happened, Jamie just wanted to hang out with her friends. So we got some wine, and some food. Ordered pizza and wings. Played cards and watched Wedding Crashers. Then we got ice cream from Baskin Robbins. All in all a good relaxing time was had by all. There was only 5 of us and it was perfect. I was supposed to spend the night, we were going to do a whole slumber party thing. But I knew I would have to be at the hospital early the next morning and my tooth is killing me. I think it is dry socket. : ( So I didn't spend the night.

Hey Pete! Are you out there today? I am at work today. I called out yesterday. Still in lots of pain but I took the vicodin and now I feel ok. Comment back, I am bored!

Yeah, so I worked today. And it was boring for the most part. The afternoon just dragged on and on. I didn't realize Pete responded to my blog because he did it so late, by then I had stopped checking. So, day number two with no cigarette. And that boring long afternoon was a test, I was jones-ing for a smoke so bad! I haven't decided if this will be the big quit yet. It should be. Why should I go through this again? Unfortunately I haven't been able to take the ziban, you can't take ziban with percocet or vicodin. So I will start taking that once I stop the narcotics. Pete picked me up last night and brought me to his house to watch sg-1. Thanks Pete! Then Shawn brought me home after sg-1. Thanks Shawn! Then straight to bed, I was so tired!

Called out from work today. Yippee! I don't hurt too terribly bad, but it is getting worse as the evening progresses. It was a pretty relaxing day, I watched Shrek with my nephews. Vegetated on percocet mostly. That's the only good part about having a tooth pulled.

Dentist day. I survived. I didn't cry. Just minor panic attacks but my dental assistant, she is so sweet, she held my hand and talked me through it. I always thought it was funny that in aerobics class the instructors remind you to breathe. When I go to the dentist and he is working on me, I have to remind myself to breathe. I just sit there and hold my breath. Not good. What was good was that while I was waiting to be called-one of my most nervous times-I was able to calm down and almost meditate. I used a couple different mudras and they really seemed to help. The rest of the time was awful, one of the worst dentist experiences. Not the dentists' fault though, just one of those things. I don't want to talk about it though, this is supposed to be good stuff. Here's some good stuff-percocet!

Did anyone else feel the glorious cool air that arrived with the setting of the sun? What a beautiful evening! I opened up the windows and turned off the air and just revelled in it. It was a tease of the autumn ahead. Oh wonderful fall, so close! I tasted the first hint of you on the air tonight and I can't wait until you arrive!

One of my co-workers found the funniest thing on the web while at work today. If you go to www.snakesonaplane.com you can have Samuel L. Jackson call on the phone and leave a message about going to see the movie! It is hilarious! You can customize it a little bit, he will say the person's name that you are calling and your name and other little things. It was great! So I had Mr. Jackson call Pete, Mary and Shawn. And if I do say so myself, I think I made their days! And that made me feel good, too!

Sunday too

Sunday

Sunday was spent entirely in the dealer room at Otakon. Pete and I got airsoft guns! BB guns! They are going to be so much fun! I got a couple more dvds and a voo doo baby Mr. Pumpkin that is just the cutest thing you ever did see! Actually before Otakon, I had to go to the hospital for my dad. We had a big family meeting with the surgeon. All of us were there, even my sister and the boys. My sister has been up since friday and it has been good. We got some bad news about my dad last week-see the blogs about jinxing myself-and my mom called my sister and asked her to come up again. Looks like my dads toes have gone gangrene and they will have to be amputated. So the surgeon who is going to do it wanted to talk to us all about it. It was nice to be included.

Saturday too

Saturday

Saturday at Otakon! Big costume day and there certainly were very excellent costumes everywhere. Today was a little frustrating at times but I always get like that at Otakon at least at some point. I think it has to do with all the people crowding me. I got to see Voltron! Yes my friends, Defender of the Universe Voltron! I knew it was going to be cheesy and not hold up to the pedestal that I put it on when I was a kid but this is the cartoon that got me into anime in the first place. Robotech came later. The played the first 4 episodes of voltron and they were just glorious. I felt like a little kid again. And so did the whole audience around me-everyone cheered and clapped at the opening titles. It was great. I got to talking with this nice guy sitting behind me and now I wish I had exchanged emails or something with him. I have got to keep myself open when those situations happen! Then afterwards I hung out with Willow and Greg and that was great! How cool to have them there too. Then off to the saturday night fan parodies which are the high point of every Otakon weekend. Can you imagine-"Brokeback Evangelion"? It was hilarious! Plus other movie trailers made from anime and everybody's favorites Evangelion ReDeath and Nescaflowne. Yay fan parodies!

Friday

Wow, what a kind of crazy first day of Otakon. First of all, we didn't get up at the crack of dawn to get there early. Sleeping in is good! Shawn had to work all day and didn't arrive until almost 6pm. We ran into Angie on one of our trips to the car, Angie works in the city for those who don't know. Ang, I know you read this sometimes, but let's be honest. It blew me away that Jess talked to Angie. And not just casual conversation, Jess pulled Angie aside and it looked like they had a good talk about everything. Holy crap! That was crazy! We went to the dealer room and I bought stuff on the first day. I never buy stuff on the first day! But they were too good of deals to pass up. Witchhunter Robin complete series box set-$35! What the hell! That is nuts! I was afraid they would sell out, so I had to get it then. Samurai Deeper Kyo complete series box set-$30! Same story here, had to get it. Then the awesome costumes. People have a tendency to bring out the non-anime costumes on Friday. A few Jedi were cool. But Pyramid head from Silent Hill was the best-he scared the shit out of Jess. Of course I kept refering to him as Triangle Man which lead me to singing They Might Be Giants all day in my head!

Air conditioning! Thank god! Yes, a second day where the best thing is a/c. Had a really good talk to with my mom tonight. And someone please remind me not to say anything about stuff getting better or worse. I hate when I jinx myself.

August 1st. The dog days of summer. Today I am grateful that I have air conditioning. I am not sure what the final temperature was with the heat index and all that. But I am so glad that I work indoors and have a/c at home and work and car. I went to the mall after work and went for a walk. Of course I negated the walk by drinking a starbucks green tea frappichino. Hell yes! But that filled me up. Then a vicodin when I got home, which upsets my stomach a little so I only ate some goldfish for dinner. I am also grateful that I have health insurance. I just wish I could add my mom to my policy. What a mess everything has become since my dad has gone in the hospital! It will get better. It has to.

Still no dentist! :( But I was a good girl and didn't take any vicodin today. I toughed it out. After the sun went down and some of the relentless heat passed away, I went for a walk. It was neat the way I could still feel the heat from the pavement radiating up my legs. It was like walking in hot water but the top half of me was cool. Odd. Even though he had dialysis today, my dad was pretty cognizant when I visited him. That was a good change, usually dialysis days are bad days for him.

So there is the bride-to-be! It was her bridal shower today and it was very good. Just one silly game-how well do you know Jamie-and lots of food. shrimp cocktails, lots of different kinds of wraps, crab balls, cake, cookies, fruit, vegetables, brownies, nuts, m and m's, and lemon bars! I am probably forgetting something! She got lots of goodies. And she did one of the coolest, sweetest things I have ever seen. As she opened each gift, she wished that person something. Like as she opened my present, she wished me good luck at my new branch. For another girl, she wished her horse would stay sound for the upcoming show season. That was great and I want to steal that idea. Of course after all the food, my tooth was killing me. Back on the vicodin. I hope the dentist calls tomorrow!
Jamie's bridal shower

Clerks 2 was freaking hilarious! Genius! I loved it! I think Jay doing his silence of the lambs impression was my favorite. Or else Pillowpants. Ha ha ha! Man, Kevin Smith is genius, his dialogue is so fast, so witty. And I love Arbys for dinner, beef and cheddar. Plus some anime and my tooth didn't hurt so bad today! Yeah for Saturday with no work!

Sweet relief! Ah blessed narcotics to ease my pain. After a pain-filled day at work with no openings at the dentist, my doctor called in some vicodin for me. For the first time in ages, I was able to leave work at 4pm! That was great too. Went home, took some drugs and turned into a vegetable until about 8pm when it was time to go over Pete's and watch SG-1. And it was a good episode, finally the crossover episode to Atlantis. Then for unknown reasons, we watched Atlantis thinking the crossover would continue but unfortunately not. The only good part is the main guy is kinda cute ; )

Got some things accomplished at work today. Piece counted the vault, always a pain in the ass. I had to work late in the drive-thru and man it is obnoxiously boring. I am going to have to remember to bring something to do on those nights! My tooth hurts really bad. I finally gave in and called the dentist. I am scared because of everything that happened last year. But I won't give in to the fear! I have started watching a reality show and I am hooked. First one for me. I have always stayed away from these reality shows, I think they are stupid. But nevertheless, I am sucked in to Project Runway. I think it is because I like to see the clothes that they create at the end because it is something I could not do. It is impressive to me the stuff they come up with and create in like 24 hours. I wish I could do that!

Another decent day at work, this is kinda nice. Hope it doesn't spoil me! Watched the first half of a new Jet Li movie, that I won't reveal the title of because we may have been breaking some rules by watching it. It was really good. I couldn't stay for the end, I was too exhausted. But I can't wait to watch the rest of it! I really enjoy Jet Li's movies, for the most part. There are some one that aren't that good but the ones like Hero and Once Upon a Time in China, and the one we were watching last night, just plain old rock. I can't help but wonder if he is really any good in real life with his martial arts in a real fight. I know a long time ago he was martial arts champion of China, like when he was in his teens. Ah, well. I like Jet Li!

Today I had to go to the teller in charge meeting instead of working in the branch. I love these meetings! Well, maybe that is being a little too enthusiastic! But I really enjoy getting out of the branch for a while and talking to my peers about mutual problems. And learning new things that will help me out at work. Then after the meeting I went to Target and spent too much money! New shoes and stuff. The only thing I needed was to pick up my prescription! Oh well, I know when I go there I am doomed to spend some money. I love Target!

My first day as the teller supervisor at the Bay Hills branch. I survived it! I'm not sure how impressed my senior teller was because I played it really mellow. I didn't want to go in there and start screwing with all their stuff right away. I wanted to see how they do stuff. And I was not impressed. Alot of work for me to do. But I don't really mind. I like getting in there and working on stuff. And I am not afraid of some yelling! And these tellers need some discipline, sweet zombie jesus, do they need some discipline. So I will bring it! Soon the gloves will come off and I fear I might lose some tellers but if they aren't going to play by the rules and work by the rules, then by Buddha, they gotta go! Overall, it was a good first day and very eye opening.

Bethlehem Steel

Peep-Mobile!

I left class early tonight. I was just to exhausted. Why does sitting in a car for a few hours totally wear you out? Strange. Good day though. Pete and I came home from visiting Nathan and Jessica. As we were leaving their house, we saw the coolest thing! A Peep-Mobile! Wow that sounds dirty, like a peep-show on wheels. No perverts! The marshmallow Peeps! My favorite zombie day candy! And now they are out for every holiday including the most holy of holies Halloween. And weird ones like 4th of July. Anyway, the Peep-Mobile was super cool, as you can see from the pics. Plus we drove by the old Bethlehem Steel plant in Bethlemen and it was just amazing. The pics don't do it justice. And one more very cool thing, the sky today was just splendid. Since the front came through and cleared out all the humidity, we could see awesome distances. It was a beautiful drive home.

My last day at Parole, and of course it was a pain. After I got out of work, Pete and I went up to Bethlehem Penn. to visit Nathan and Jessica. It was a beautiful drive, once we got past Harrisburg. I love mountains! Pete and I had a good laugh at their butter yellow house. We went to dinner at a japanese steakhouse but we didn't eat at the hibatchi, we ate at the sushi bar. They had bento boxes and all sorts of neat food that most hibatchi places don't have. It was funny when we got flipped off by a 5 year old boy. Long story, he wasn't actually flipping us off, but it was funny! Then off for ice cream, which due to digestive issues I do not eat except on very rare special occasions and when I am near a toilet. While we were at the ice cream place, eating outside, there was a gorgeous sunset going on. It was past sunset, where the descent of night is almost complete. At the horizon, and just above, were lovely clouds in all shades of mauve, pink and dusty rose. We were up a little ways on a small mountain/big hill and the twinkling lights of the city (Allentown or Bethlehem) were offset by the beautiful sky. I stood there for a few moments just enjoying the cool evening and sunset. I think maybe everyone else thought something was wrong, but really I was content looking at the sky while they ate their ice creams. Back at the house, later that night, I got the big air mattress and a smashing super shiny purple bedspread! Plus one of the dogs slept with me all night, that was nice. Good day!

Another glorious day off from work! I woke up at a decent hour, 9am, which was late enough to let me feel like I slept in and earlier enough to still get stuff done. I went to record and tape traders and I bought the new Keane cd, NIN-Things Falling Apart and James-Laid. The James cd is a replacement of the one my brother pawned years ago. After I got out of there without spending any more money-which I wanted to-I called Willow and we met up and did more shopping! Then lunch at a nice cafe, then back to his apartment just to chill and hang out. He taught me a cool mantra-the seven line immutable prayer-and showed me all the cool stuff he bought. We bought his plane ticket for Denver-yay!-and I left around 5:30. I got home and ate a nice salad for dinner and watched SG-1, then over to Pete's to watch anime! Yay!

Visited my dad today in the hospital since I didn't make it to see him this weekend. But I came when he had just gotten out of dialysis, so he was really out of it and sleepy. My mom was there too. We had some really good timing though. She went out and asked the nurse for the phone number for my dad's neurologist. It is always such an ordeal to get a hold of one of the doctors in the hospital, forget about seeing one. How these people can treat someone correctly when they only see them once or twice a week and only stay for 5 minutes is beyond me. My opinion of hospitals and everyone who works in them has really suffered from our experiences with Baltimore Washington Medical Center, formally known as North Arundel Hospital. Continuing that will only lead to an angry blog, so let's move on to the good part of my day. Well, my mom asks for his phone number and the nurse asks if she would like to speak with him, he is seeing another patient right now but he is available. My mom was like Hell yeah, I want to talk to him! Actually no, that was my response but it would have been funny if my mom said that! We waited around and I began to think he wasn't going to come. Not only did he show up, he listened to us and our concerns! Amazing! He actually examined my dad! He changed his medicine at my suggestion! Holy shit! I spoke up about a medicine I had heard about for diabetes nerve pain management and Dr. Miller said, that is a good idea, I will do that! Awesome! I am so glad that I mentioned it and I really hope it helps relieve the severe pain my dad is in.

Worked again at the Wheel today. Today was my normal day to work. But having already been there twice this week, ugh, it was a long day. Slow too. But I got my favorite snowball, spearmint with marshmallow, after work. Yummy! Class was really good, meditation. I needed it because I had been in the dumps all day. We did this one mudra-which is a type of yoga with the hands-I think it was called the buddha something or other. Wow! I really liked that one! Whatever it was, it really helped get me back into a normal mood. I am going to have to remember that one!

I had a really good time tonight. Pete and Jess went to cirque du soleil, but some of us are poor and can't afford $100 tickets so we did not go to that. And Shawn never called to say he wanted to do something, like I told him to, so I went out with my sister and my mom. We went to Outback for dinner-yay! It had been ages since I have been there. And then off to see Pirates of the Caribbean, which was very funny and action packed. I stopped at the grocery store afterwards and picked up some Ben and Jerry's halfbaked too. A very nice evening spent with the family!

Woo hoo! Season premiere fo Stargate SG-1! That always makes me happy. Plus it was actually a good episode. Everyone was in a bad place/position from the season finale, so it was about getting everyone through their tight spot and getting the group back together at the end. It was good, I enjoyed it. And just the thought all day that I had a new SG-1 to watch that night was enough to get me through a very long day at work.

Picked up some extra hours at the Wheel today. It was good, I need the extra money badly for Otakon and Denver! And it was really nice because we were busy and made lots of money! Tony was so excited!

Today I got an emergency call into the Wheel to work. Apparently the regular girl no called/no showed two days in a row. Being the helpful, good person that I am, I went in about 4:30 and worked until close. The best part was, I had a really busy evening and took in a good amount of money for a Wednesday evening. Tony was so pleased with how much I made and the fact that I came in and worked when he thought that the store was going to be closed, that he let me pick out a piece of jewelry for free! I chose a pretty garnet ring. That was so nice of him!

Visited my dad in the hospital today. I think he is developing mad psychic skills while he is there. It is probably because of all the meds and narcotics and dialysis and just plain old being in the hospital for so long. That by itself is disorienting. But he was telling me about the dreams he keeps having and they are nuts! Definitely some work going on with his guides. He dreamt he was in a class and being taught about all kinds of stuff-god, sex, religion. Cool. Also, a couple of weeks ago, he told me how he kept seeing things in the room. Bug like things that would be there and then suddenly disappear. He said they were like an episode of Stargate Sg-1, I remember which episode he was talking about. When I got home that night, that episode of SG1 was on! Creepy! But the really good news is the hospital is talking about sending him to rehab soon, like a week. It is just a matter of sorting stuff out with the insurance-which has been a nightmare, my mom had to get a lawyer. But that is not for today's blog.

What was good about today? After another late night at a concert, I wasn't due in to work until 10am. That was really nice. The funny thing is, if I had asked for it, it would never have happened. She would have made up some sort of excuse. But it worked out for the best. I got to sleep in! Work has still been busy and stressful but I am starting to deal with it better. I think it is knowing that I am leaving this branch soon. So I don't care so much about what goes wrong here anymore. Kinda bad, I know.

Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi concert! Woo hoo! Had a pretty good time tonight at the puffy show. There were a couple of incidents that were less than pleasant, but overall I had a good time. The opening band was called TallyHall and they were like a mix of Weezer, Barenaked Ladies and a little bit of Ben Folds thrown in. They were a lot of fun, very entertaining. The rest of my Sunday was pretty good, even though the Thai food from the night before was playing havoc with me. I went shopping at Target and spent too much money, as usual. I got a small blue bin type thing that I am using as a shelf on my dresser. I am in my summer bedroom which is tiny so I am trying to clean up and make a little room so it doesn't look like a complete disaster area all the time. I do wish I had gotten more done before I left for the show but it felt real good to sleep in until 11:30am!

Hey Saturday! Worked this morning then came home and napped for 3 hours. I was so tired after the concert last night, it was so hard to get up and go to work. I am an old fart! Can't even stay out for a concert and go to work the next day, anymore! Then Saturday evening, Pete, Shawn, Jess and I went out to dinner at Bangkok Oriental. And I got something new! Boxing ring chicken. Boy was that tasty! But the best thing was, there was some compromise going on there on this dinner trip. And I really appreciate my friends understanding and sacrifice so that I could go out to dinner with them!

Angels and Airways/Taking Back Sunday concert tonight! I had a good time. Meriweather sucks for sound, it was rather distorted, but it was good despite that. Great weather, nice and cool. General Admission tickets but we got in the pavilion anyway. Then Tom, formerly of Blink 182, caming running around the stadium and stood 10 feet away. The surge of humanity around us as a space that formerly held 1 person (me in my seat) now held 4-now that was annoying. Especially the screaming in my ear by silly girls. Other than that, Angels and Airways were great and so was Taking Back Sunday. I took a pic on my cell phone of Tom close by but I'll add that later! And, since it was Meriweather, I was home by a little after 11pm! Woo hoo!

Angels and Airwaves

Today was a take care of the car day. I was off from work. So I got an oil change, brakes flushed, emissions tested and car washed. It felt very productive! Plus, I finally ( a month late) mailed Mary her NIN t-shirt. I like taking care of my car like that. I wish I could spend more money on it, not tricking it out or anything like that. Just getting normal scheduled matainence that I can never seem to afford. Like all those 25000 mile, 50000 mile check up type tune up things. I want to take care of my car and help it run for as long as possible. Today it felt good to do what I could for my car!

I was in a poopy, indecisive mood today for having the day off from work. But it was good to sit with my dad at the hospital for a few hours today. We watched the space shuttle launch and that is always excellent! I love it! Wish oh man do I wish I could do that! Out of all the things in this world, that's the one thing I would love to do. I can't adequately express it, without sounding like an idiot or saying stupid things. But the shuttle launch was certainly my idea of watching the rockets red glare on the 4th of July!

It was crazy at work today. Madness! Problem after major problem after annoying problem. But I survived. I did more than survive. I fixed all the problems. I handled them smoothly without getting too mad. As I was going through each of these problems, it dawned on me that this was excellent experience for the near future when I will be teller supervisor. And instead of freaking out and getting angry and frustrated like I was doing last week, I settled down, smiled a little, laughed a little and got to work. And when I left I felt like a champ! I felt real good about the job I did today despite a lot of adversity. Hmm, we are back to that sense of accomplishment again. So is that my key to happiness and having a good day? Getting stuff done and feeling accomplished?

I was the height of lazyness today! I well deserved day off. And my greatest accomplishment for today? Reading an entire book in one day! No little book either. It was the new Laurell K. Hamilton book Danse Macabre. Good. Not her best, but good. The usual complaints I have had after finishing her more recent books. Too much sex, not enough zombie raising! It was a great lazy way to spend my day off, though. I didn't get out of my pajamas all day!

Today I was offered the teller supervisor position at the Bay Hills branch. I have been arguing with myself over whether or not to take this position since I interviewed last week. I guess I am still fighting with myself but I am going to take it. It just seems silly not to. Good pay raise and all that. Today I also went out with Jamie and her family for her 30th birthday! Woo hoo! Yay Jamie! We went to the Fuji Steak House at Waugh Chapel, it was very good. You gotta love japanese steak houses! Oh, so that made 2 birthdays in a row going to japanese steak houses! Heck yes! Who's next?

Is it possible that my mood is improving because of all this rain? People are starting to complain. The customers, friends, family. Everyone says they have had enough. I am enjoying it. These insane tropical downpours that seem to come out of nowhere, rain like mad for 20 minutes then move on. Sometimes they last even longer, especially when the storms are training right over the same spot. Seems like one never-ending storm. Thunderstorms on and off for the past few days, what's not to like? Of course, if I lived next to one of the flooded rivers and my house was in danger, or already underwater, I would not be feeling this way at all. But I can't help but say, I am enjoying all this rain.

Snuggling on the sofa with my loveable, huggable, great big fat Silly cat. Sigh. Yeah, that was really nice. Dog people just don't understand exactly how wonderful, soothing, and comforting the sound of a purr is in your ear. And that your cat makes this amazing, mysterious sound just because of you!

Today while I was working at the Wheel, I sat outside smoking and reading like I always do when I work there. It has been storming on and off all day. I have a bad habit of cheering these storms on. When I see one looming off in the distance, I do a little happy dance and chant to myself "Come on, baby!" So I was reading, smoking and cheering the afternoon away. In one of these breaks between waves of rain, the sun peeked it's way from behind the clouds. It never quite came out all the way. I stepped from underneath the over hang and into the sun and suddenly I felt something. Soft and light. Wet and cool. Almost like a mist of the lightest kisses. It was rain, to be sure. But it felt lovely. Refreshing. Reminded me of Hawaii, when the same thing happened to my mom and I as we lay on the beach. Much nicer than the pouring down rain!

Stormy day

Today is my Pop Pop's 90th birthday party! Can you imagine? 90? Nathan and Jess came down and my Uncle Chuck who I barely ever see. Matt and Marsha, Aunt Barb, my mom and brother, and lots of other friends of my grandparents. It was a lovely party. I had the grilled salmon, I love salmon! The cake was excellent, Matt made it. Lots of fresh fruit on it. Then as the party was wrapping up, the sky opened up. Rain poured down harder than I have seen it in a long time. Crazy lightning and thunder. So as I drove home from Bel Air, I may have done a little storm chasing! Hee hee hee! I was coming down Rt. 7, Philadelphia Rd just outside of White Marsh when I saw some great clouds and lots of lightning. I tried to get some pics of the lightning but the shutter(or whatever you want to call it) on the digital camera is just too slow! But I got some pretty clouds nonetheless.
90th Birthday

That was how I felt when I left work today. Free! Just like the bird in this picture, soaring through a clear blue sky. What a crappy day. But I won't go into it, staying positive. It truly was like freedom to step out of the building, leaving everything behind for a Friday evening and a Saturday off. Windows down and Angels and Airwaves cranked up, I avoided a back up and flew up the highway. Beautiful!
Free!

We were super busy today at work. And there are somedays, like today, that I really like it. A steady stream of stuff to do all day and I got it all done. A sense of accomplishment. And, even better, I got a referral today! I have been awful at referrals lately and it reflects poorly on me, especially in my yearly review. Hopefully this is a break in the long dry spell-of referrals at work. God knows there are other dry spells that show no signs of letting up!

I wrote 2 pages tonight! I haven't worked on the story in ages and I finally sat down and said to myself you gotta write something, it doesn't matter what it is. So 2 pages. Now I just have to do it more often. My ideal would be everyday but at this point I have been so bad about it I will settle for once a week! There was a really nice moment while I was sitting on my bed writing. I looked out my window at the sky. It was just past sunset, when the sky is just a line of gold, orange and pink at the horizon and reflecting on the clouds. Directly up, the sky turns this fantastic shade of blue as night approaches from the east. I can't accurately describe this blue. It is so deep and vibrant. It is my favorite color. I just laid there on my bed, my head resting on the window sill and staring out the window as the colors faded from the sky. Lovely.

Monday Monday. I had an interview today for a new position at work. New branch, new job. Teller supervisor. The interview went well, as far as I could tell. Hopefully I will hear something by the end of the week. On the drive home from the interview, it thunderstormed like crazy. That was nice. Once I was home, I sat on the front porch and talked on the phone to Willow while it stormed to the south of me. It was neat, thunder and lightning but no rain. We discussed plans to go to Denver and see the Dalai Lama. Anybody what to come with us? It's gonna be awesome!

No class tonight. Instead I meditated on my own, which it had been ages since I have done that. Really managed to find the peace and center and grounding. My english is not so hot tonight! :P It felt good. I was reading an article in a Yoga magazine about dharma and finding your true path. Very good article. I think I need to read it again to get it to set in. It was about making choices and doing what is best for your dharma. Interesting. What would Yoda do? That was what reading that article made me ask myself.

Shawn, Pete, Jess and I went to the movies tonight to see Nacho Libre. It was really funny and silly, of course. But that wasn't so much the highlight of my day. Instead of wearing the usual shorts and sloppy tshirt, I decided to dress a little bit more nicely. Not dressy, per se. Little bit of lipstick, hair nicely done and smooth. A great bra that enhances the girls, low cut top. I looked good, and I felt good. And it was certainly fun getting noticed by the guys at 7-11. I actually got elevator eyed. Cool. Yeah, that felt good. And Jess complimented me, too. It felt good to be noticed again, that hadn't happened in the longest time. And it also reminds me that I need to compliment others more often, tell them that they look good. It really does wonders for you!

I need to put more pictures up here. That has nothing to do with today, just an observation.
Today one of my tellers, Joanna, left the bank. She and her husband are moving up to Long Island. It is actually a sad day, I am going to miss her so much. For this blog I am celebrating my friend and co-worker, Joanna. She was my right hand. She was the most helpful, nice, quick learning person I have ever worked with. If I needed anything, she was there to help me. We would just sit and talk some days, as we worked. We helped each other through difficult times with our manager, kept each other smiling and making sure the other was still going to come to work the next day. She was my back up and on days when she was off, it always made my day more difficult. She was hands down, the best co-worker I have ever had. And even more important, Joanna was a beautiful person inside and out. She would do anything for anyone. I am going to miss her!

A long Thursday working from 8:30 until 6:30. Yuck. A good thing was that it didn't take me very long to close so I was out of there by 6:05. That is one of the few good things about our new computer system at work, closing is quicker. I got some errands done after work and that was good. And the best of all was I went to bed at 10pm. I can't tell you the last time that happened and I actually like getting to bed early now. I don't know when that happened. I still consider myself a night owl, though, because given the opportunity I will stay up all night. I just don't have the chance to any more, I always have to work the next day!

I think I am still in my post-concert high. Listening to NIN all day, looking at pics of the concert online. Oh yeah, Pete told me how to change bitmap to jpeg so later I shall add that pic of Trent to the previous blog. Yes, I love little obsessions like this. It will pass soon enough, a couple of days, and I will be back to normal. I do this frequently, whenever I discover something new or find something I really like. Like after I saw X-Men, the first movie, I had to go back and read all of the old X-Men comics and read every article about Hugh Jackman. God knows I do it with Star Wars and I did it with Stargate SG-1 when I first started watching it. I end up dreaming about whatever it is, which I did Tuesday night after that concert. Cool dreams. A little healthy, friendly obsession can't hurt right?

So I was trying really hard to get a good picture of Trent to show you all my happy moments from tonight but they are all bitmap images instead of jpegs and due to technical difficulties I can't get them on here! Damnit! I really lamented the loss of Trent's long hair when Mary first told me. I love long hair on guys. But Trent buzzed it all off. Gone is the dyed black hair, skinny, makeup, pale skin goth boy. He has been replaced by a muscular, short haired man that will kick your ass! Did I mention the glory of leather pants? Sweet zombie jesus. Once upon a time, I doubted a past co-worker at the Wall who said that Trent was hot. I was like Trent Reznor? Really? I take it back. And then to start the night off, the voice of my soul, Peter Murphy in spectacular theatrical form. And to top the night off-Trent sang Bela Legosi's Dead! Granted I didn't hear the live performance, that was reserved for those lucky bastards that won tickets from DC101. I heard it on the radio and it was awesome! Undead undead undead! Hell yes! Goth guys are hot! Enough panting over the leather pants, if you are interested (Mary) I suggest you go read Jess' blog on myspace. She sums it all up very well. Uh, excuse me Mr. Reznor, I bet after all that running around on stage sweating and throwing bottles of water all over yourself, your pants are really tight, and don't you think you need a hand getting those off?
By the way, I was at the Bauhaus and Nine Inch Nails concert last night and it rocked! We had 5th row and I so wanted to be in the pit busting heads! Unbelievable energy!

Wonder of wonders, I had a good day at work today. My supervisor was in a good mood, my tellers all behaved themselves and the little things that always seemed to go wrong the past 2 weeks, did not happen today. For the first time in at least 2 weeks, I left on time and in a good mood. We had talked and laughed and just generally had a good day. How nice! Then I came home to an empty quiet house. At first I was disappointed, my sister and my nephews are visiting, but I took advantage of it. My sister doesn't like the boys to watch anything on TV remotely violent. So I don't get to watch any of my shows, except for the weather channel. So I vegetated on the sofa, as I usually do on Mondays, and watched x-files, stargate, and 2 episodes of Friends before ending my 3 hour TV binge. And that felt so good because I hadn't done that either in about 3 weeks, ever since everything went crazy at work and my dad got real sick.

I slept in. Oh joy! Rapture! Sleeping in! But that wasn't the best part of the day. That was spending about 3 hours hanging out with my dad. He has improved so much from last week. We talked about Star Wars, football and the Ravens signing McNair, the O's, work, and other random stuff. After a week of worry, what a relief to have a normal conversation. He had physical therapy while I was there, too, and it was good to see him get up and walk to the nurses station. It wasn't long after the walk that I left, exercise like that really tires him out so I knew he would really like to sleep. It felt really good to spend that time with him.

Willow and I had an excellent full moon ritual tonight. We kept it simple and just focused on a healing for my dad. I felt focused and clear-headed for the first time in a while. It felt very good, the whole thing. We also had a great discussion about how the religions relate to the chakras and how it is actually a good thing to move away Wicca towards the higher religions and chakras. It was a good, deep, real discussion. And it felt so good doing something to help my dad.

I seem to have lost focus of this blog. I didn't mean to. I got overwhelmed and was struggling to keep myself above water most of the week. My dad took a big turn for the worse on Monday and that was a big shock. I was spending all of my free time at the hospital. Then my sister and the boys came up, because of my dad, and so they have been consumming time. And work has just been nuts everyday as I try to get back into a routine. These new computers have really screwed everything up. Plus I lost 2 tellers which makes me short-handed. And another situation that I don't care to go into presented itself on Tuesday/Wednesday to screw up my social life on top of everything else.
It is Saturday, a new day and almost a new week. My dad has made another turn, for the better. He is recognizing everyone again, eating, and is out of restraints. I am having a great time with my sister and my nephews. There is nothing like having two little boys fighting over who gets to play monster with Aunt Lori and having Corey admonish me when I didn't get home from work when I said I would. Work is getting better. I am getting a hang of the new system and a routine is starting to fall into place. We have hired one new teller and are interviewing to get 2 more. Oh yeah, and I was sick but I went to the doctor and got antibiotics. The social situation seems to be resolved. I am ready once again to focus on the positive in my day and life. I will start again, now that I have had a week off, and re-committ myself to this.

I have a teller station again at work! I am so very pleased to have my own desk again. For about 4 months, I did not have one. We had too many tellers and not enough places for them to have a permanent station. Friday was the last day for 2 of my tellers so now I have my own desk. This morning I took in pictures and stuff to decorate it with. I like doing that alot. Making the space mine. I always used to sit at everyone else's stations and look at their stuff-pics of their kids, boyfriends, girlfriends. Whatever. Not anymore. Now I look at a beautiful tree in Vermont changing colors against a glorious autumn blue sky. A view to temporarily take me away from where I am everyday.
Another event of importance today. I was sitting on the front porch this evening, the sun had just set. When out of the corner of my eye, I noticed arising from the cool damp grass-lightning bugs! Like little pieces of magic. I love lightning bugs, they are magical and good! And tonight was the first evening of this summer that I had the pleasure of watching them begin their nightly sojourn.

When Pat, my teacher, first mentioned what we would be doing in class tonight, I got a little nervous. In groups, we would be creating our own religions. I am not sure why it filled me with dread at first. That is something I am still looking into. I must say, I had an enjoyable time doing it. Of course, my religion leaned towards something like the Jedi. I just can't help it! But it truly did help me figure out exactly what I believe and what I think is just a bunch of hooey that I don't want to be associated with whatsoever. And why some of those hooey beliefs might be in place, despite the fact that I don't agree with them. When it comes to controlling the masses, sometimes you do have to put the fear of god into them. But I also hope that humans evolve enough that those archaic beliefs can be put to rest and no one need fear they will spend eternity burning in hell with demons torturing them. Does anyone even truly believe that anymore?

Work has been unbelievable this week. Much too hard. New computer systems are a gigantic pain. I must stay optimistic! It is Friday and I am home. I survived, I found my difference, I did my job well despite bad circumstances. My tellers are doing well with the new system and that reflects well on me. I am so glad to be home, where it is quiet and I can relax and take tylenol and my headache will go away. Watch some Stargate, read my book, chill, and go to bed early!

Today is Shawn's birthday! Happy Birthday Shawn! After another crazy day at work, I went out to dinner with Shawn, Pete, Jess and Allie. Cheers to my friends! I like spending evenings with my friends. I was a little sad to look around the table and notice so many faces missing but it just makes me cherish the ones that are still here all the more. We had a great dinner at Kyoto in Severna Park with lots of good food and conversation and crazy hibatchi style cooking. To top it all off, it thunderstormed like mad outside! It looked like the apocalypse was approaching, the clouds were so black. The power flickered a few times but never quite went out, which would have been weird in the restaurant. Hope you had a good one, Shawn!

I only worked 3 hours today! Woo hoo! But I am getting paid for 5! Woo hoo! We got new computers today and they are lovely. Flat screens! Yay! I am getting half of my desk back! Another yay for not having to be into work until 2pm the day after a holiday!

I am floating through a head cold fog today. Have been since Friday or Saturday. But today it seems quite noticeable. I went to the movies and saw X-Men:Last Stand anyway! And it was the high point of my day. Gotta love Wolverine! Ha ha ha! Actually, I realize a lot of people have issues with Hugh Jackman as Wolverine but I am not one of them. I try to keep the movies separate from the comics in my head. I'm happy when they include alot of stuff from the comics into the movie but I don't expect it. So I am never too disappointed with movies because I go in thinking, they are gonna screw the x-men up. It is not even going to be remotely like the comics. That way when it is, I am pleased. See how this works? So, yes, I enjoyed X-Men 3. I especially liked the beginning with Prof. X and Magneto going to get Jean Gray as a child, and Warren (Angel) trying to cut his wings off as a child. That was cool back story stuff they didn't have to put in but added depth to those characters. I loved that Storm was able to fly and throw lightning bolts like she does in the comics. Disappointed with Rogue, she has turned into a wuss when she actually has a mean streak. Phoenix, hmmm, kind of disappointed but then again not. She looked awesome but it seemed like for the end of the movie she just stood around and looked impressive. Phoenix wouldn't have stood around waiting for Magneto to tell her what to do unless she had a good reason to. And I don't think that was a good enough reason. I don't want to ruin the end for people who haven't seen it yet so I'll stop there. Well, 2 more things from the end. Wolverine's healing abilities-those of you who have seen it know what I am talking about. And stay until after the credits people! Those of you who haven't seen it yet, there is a scene after the credits! Okay, that's all. I was in my head cold fog so I actually want to go see this again after I am well. See if my opinion of it changes at all!

A splendid day today. As I mentioned before, Mike and KC are in town, and today is their last day here. They fly out tomorrow morning. In celebration of their visit, Mike's parents had a cook-out today. And who doesn't love a good cookout? Burgers, hot dogs, sausages, beans, potato salad, fruit salad, cole slaw, watermelon, on and on the food list goes. Playing silly yard games that only ever get played once before they are packed away and hidden down in the basement with only mentions left to them "hey do you remember that time we played croquet?" Eating till you can't eat anymore, or at least until the next bowl is passed by you and you say to yourself, there's always room for fruit, right? Sharing embarrassing stories and laughing at ones you've heard so many times they just shouldn't be funny anymore, but they still are. Shooing off the never ending assault of flies and bees. Leaving takes at least an hour and even then it seems abrupt-everyone needs to tell you one more thing, or pack up food for you to take, or show you something, or just one more hug. Cookouts are great but not something that my family does often. I am so glad I got to go to one this summer!

I was driving home from Pete's house Saturday night, enjoying my Angels and Airwaves cd when before just above the trees appeared beautiful fireworks. Little explosions of color in the sky. So pretty. And just the perfect visual companion for track 7 on the cd, if I hadn't been on I-97 going about 75 in the fast lane, I may have pulled over and enjoyed the show while listening to the tunes. It was a beautiful sight-the reds, blues, greens and golds. They weren't the crazy fireworks of an official display but the illegal ones that are bought in Virginia and smuggled in. Somehow I like those better. There is just something more satisfying about them, knowing some idiot is setting them off in their backyard and might just lose a finger on them! Or at the very least get caught by the cops and arrested. Do they arrest people for fireworks? Maybe just ticket them. Doesn't matter, I am getting away from the point. How beautiful those spontaneous fireworks are. Glorious in their unexpectedness as the appear suddenly in fountains of red and blue above the dark trees.

Another decent day where I maintained my good mood all day. It was a nice day at work for a Friday. We joked and laughed all day and I actually got some work done in preparation for conversion on Tuesday. Very nice. The highlight of today was the unexpected gift of music from Pete. Over the last few weeks I kept hearing this amazing song on HFS. I found out it was Angels & Airwaves. I had been debating picking up the cd when it came out on Tuesday but I didn't because I just didn't know any of the music. I am one of those people who likes to know a couple songs on a cd before I buy it. Pete got it and tonight gave me a copy of it. I listened to it on the way home from his house and I must say, this cd is amazing! Layered, textured, melodic, great lyrics. Every song I kept turning up louder and louder. Great guitar lines remiscent of the Edge, rolling pounding drums, a little bit electronic for texture and I can't forget those great bass lines! Yes, I love this cd! Angels & Airwaves - We don't need to Whisper

Today I had training for the new teller system we are getting. Actually, I was in training yesterday as well. I like the change of rountine that training always offers. I wake up at a different time, take a different way to a different place where I see new people and learn new things. Then I get to eat lunch someplace new for an hour instead of a half hour and then to top it all off today, we got out early! 1pm. That was excellent. I am still fighting this cold and stopped at Walmart on the way home but I was still home 2 hours earlier than I would normally have been. Yes! And my positive mood is still holding up! 4 days! I hope it could be like those signs that you see at workplaces. Safety first! 4 days since our last accident! Yay!

Mike is in town. After another good day at work-I wasn't in the branch, I was in training-I came home and then headed over Mike's parents house. We ate dinner and then walked and talked. For about 2 hours, just walked around the neighborhood and talked about everything. Aliens, sasquatch, his job, my job, KC, dreams, ghosts, his parents, food, music, movies, negativity, selling the house, Denver, Rocks state park, on and on. A beautiful evening, not too hot, not too cold, no bugs. Just two good friends walking, talking, getting barked at by dogs, serenaded to by drunk neighbors and dodging lawn sprinklers. Yay!

Tuesday was another glorious day off from work! Why can't all days be like this? Willow and I went to Rocks State Park and went to this amazing waterfall. I have been to Rocks before but not to this part of the park. It is a separate place away from the main section where everyone goes rock climbing. There was no one there when we arrived and it was fantastic! We could get right up next to the waterfall, hell we could have got in it if we wanted to! We climbed over all the rocks and boulders, found little caves and a neat rock shaped like a dog's head. We sat next to the river, hands in the cool stream and just chilled. It was great. Then back to Willow's house for an excellent apricot chicken dinner that he prepared. And off to the movies to see the Da Vinci Code with Pete and Jess. Which I also really enjoyed, I haven't read the book yet but the movie was good. I don't know what all the fuss is about though. So what if Mary Magdalene was Jesus' bride? It doesn't negate anything he did or his sacrifice. And it's a fictional book people! I am super excited for the X-Men movie coming out this Friday but you don't see me preparing for the war between Mutants and normals! Even though I wish...!
Waterfall at Rocks

Tuesday 

FYI
I had to enable word verification on my blog comments. This means that if you want to leave a comment, you have to type in the word you see on the screen (like when you buy tickets online). Please don't let this deter you from adding your comments! I have just started having problems with spam comments and supposedly this will make them stop.

I did notice a difference today with trying to stay positive and keeping my negative thoughts and words in check. I didn't yell or curse at anyone while I was driving, and that is just amazing. My troubled co-worker, Clytee, and I actually had normal conversations today-compared to Friday where we said 2 words to each other. That was a really good change, because not only is she my co-worker but she is my boss and we really need to function as a team. I forgot that I wanted to try putting salt at the front of my teller station, where the customers stand, and see if that made any difference in the attitudes I recieved. I'll try that Friday. I guess the coolest thing was-this is where Willow and Mary smack me-is that I actually tried cleaning my shields during the day. I know, some of you are saying WTF? Don't worry about it. Or if you are really interested, email me and I'll tell you all about shields and bubbles. Instead of actually smudging myself, which I don't do as often as I should, I visualized smudging my self and wiping all that crap off my shields like windshield wiper blades. And I noticed a difference right away! I felt more clear and focused, not drowning in my bad thoughts. I only wish it had helped with this head cold I seem to be coming down with. Started today, lots of post-nasal drip and scratchy throat. Thought it was allergies but now I am beginning to suspect not. Here is another test, though. Maybe I should keep telling myself it is only allergies and it will be! In the meantime, I'll get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids and take my vitamins. And I will kick this off before it turns into anything unpleasant!

It was kind of synchronistic that Friday I wrote about turning a negative into a positive. That was what class was about tonight-well sort of. It was about shielding/bubbling and negative thoughts and that sort of stuff. Trying to keep yourself positive. Canceling those negative thoughts. I left class in pretty good spirits and I fully intend to keep those practices in mind for tomorrow. I am definitely having enough problems with a co-worker that I need all the help I can get to make our working relationship more positive. And wasn't that the whole point of this blog anyway? To remember the positive of each day and move away from the negative? Only I can turn myself away from all the crap and keep myself in good spirits.

I like looking at home stuff. This evening Jamie and I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and I liked just walking through and looking at the stuff. Imagining what I would like in my own place one day. I was there helping Jamie pick out stuff for her bridal registry. It was fun. Like I told her, one day for my wedding when I register there I will be unstoppable with that scanner. I'll scan everything in the damn store! In the meantime, it was fun to walk around and look and dream about my own place.

Turn a negative into a positive, right? That's what I will do. Lunch tasted so good today! I was starving, having been at work since 7:45am and not eating until 1:30pm. So when I finally sat down to my chicken and ribs and beans and cole slaw and cornbread from Dave's BBQ, it tasted awesome! Really good. And then the utter relief of leaving work after a torturous(sp?) 11 hour day sitting at the drive thru all day. I wish I had better highlights for my Friday but that was about it. Or at least the things that provoked the strongest reactions!

Thursday? Why can't I remember Thursday? Oh yeah. Thursday evening was very nice. Hell, the whole day was very nice. I had the day off from work! Yay! For the first time since the beginning of April, at least, I didn't have anything scheduled to do that day. I didn't need to pack, buy anything, set up for anything, clean for anything, shovel dirt or rake leaves or install a tent. It was a true day to myself. Sure, I had stuff I wanted to do, but nothing that I had to do. And that made all the difference in this day. I spent hours on the computer and hours reading my book and hours watching the X-Files. It was lovely!

Noise noise noise. Most days noise really bothers me. Random, disjointed, harsh, noise. Especially at work. At the end of the day, all the tellers get excited to be getting out of there and they start talking louder. The phone is always ringing at the bank. The printer is always beeping, loudly, because it has jammed, or run out of paper, or needs envelopes or somebody breathed on it the wrong way. We have a lot of sensitive information so we are constantly shredding things. The ATM behind the teller line is so loud-envelopes being deposited, money being dispensed, the 2 minute ceaseless beeping and chiming when someone leaves their card behind! Desk people yelling across the branch at the tellers to do something or not do something. Plus the slamming of drawers, ringing of coin as it is counted, the money counters spinning the bills, the validators at every teller station that print so noisely that you can't hear your customer speak. And don't forget the vacuum tubes rushing in at the drive thru, the dinging of the bell at the drive thru, and the never-ending noise of the customers! Oh yeah, and we invariably have music playing as well! It is too much most days for my poor sensitive ears to take. So at the end of the day when I have to work late, it is such a relief when most of it stops! Everyone leaves except for one desk person and myself. No customers. Minimal phone calls, no shredding, no printing, no one asking questions or yelling across the branch. No drawers being slammed, money being counted, validators printing. Blessed quiet. Or as quiet as can be. I love that moment after everyone leaves, I turn off whatever annoying music they were playing and I put on something nice. Today it was Sigur Ros (thanks Mary!) and it was so good and harmonious and pleasing to my ears after all the other crap! Ah, I love quiet!

Tuesday. Can't believe I have been home for 2 days already and I am still tired! This evening I came home from work and collapsed on the sofa, a little bit in a down mood. Then, lo, my eyes beheld the wondrous spectacle that is my favorite episode of the X-Files. Titled "Bad Blood," the episode guest stars Luke Wilson and is the funniest episode. It is the one where Mulder stakes a vampire and then both he and Scully re-count the tale from their separate points of view. Funny funny stuff! It picked my spirits up immediately. I left the house after it was finished to visit my Dad in a much better mood than if I had gone up there straight from work. And my Dad is usually in a bad enough mood that I don't need to be showing up there grumpy as well! I need to pick up his spirits, and I did, since I was in a good mood from the X-Files.

Today I got to know Ken's friend Marvin. We had a talked a little on and off the whole weekend but we are both quiet people with strangers so we hadn't said much more than polite stuff. Until Saturday night, when we had a shared experience at dinner. I was going to say it was a miserable experience, but it wasn't. Mary was there, Ken too, Mike and his girlfriend Nicole-and of course Marvin and I. Let's see-Mary has a friend, who seems like a good person, with the exception of the company she keeps. Well, she brought this company with her to dinner. And this company was awful. Not the kind of person I would associate with on any level and of course she sat at our table with us. :( But if it had not been for this unfortunate occurance, I would never have been able to talk to Marvin as much as I did Saturday. And find out just how cool of a person he is. Sunday morning, Marvin and I rode together to the airport and we talked. Now, I have conversation issues-I don't do it very well. But not once during our ride did I feel uncomfortable or feel like I was forcing myself, or him, to talk. I think Marvin and I have a lot of things in common-not stuff, like movies or music, but world views and opinions. I won't rattle on here too long. I just wanted to say that Marvin, I think you have a beautiful soul, I am so glad that I met you, and that I hope we can keep in touch. Thank you for keeping me company Saturday night and Sunday morning! By the way, Marvin is on the left in the picture, Mike is on the right.
Sunday

I am not sure why the picture is not showing but I am supposing that it is too big. If you click on the red x, though, then it will take you to the picture. Goth wedding anyone? It was awesome getting all done up in the makeup and dressing up. Everyone looked great, the guys looked like a goth band and Mary was beautiful. What a great time we had Saturday! No problems during the ceremony, which was amazing considering we had no rehearsal. We got there in plenty of time, not too much last minute rushing around. With the exception of the marriage license! Ken, where is it?! Oh well, there always has to be something and at least that one is easily fixed. Spending time with my closest friends from high school was great. Mike is going to photoshop in the 2-3 missing friends from our group with a picture that was taken of the 4 of us on Saturday. That will be funny! Mike looked awesome in his clockwork orange makeup (too bad no cod piece!) and it was even better when his girlfriend Nicole pulled the eyelashes off! All the shaving cream on Ken's car was great and I am glad it came of with no damage. The evening was less than stellar but the day was awesome! I had such a good time! And if it hadn't been for Marvin sitting next to me at dinner, the evening wouldn't have been anywhere near as pleasant as it turned out to be.
Saturday

What a busy Friday, running around and getting everything finished for the Big Day! Picking up the food, the cake, make-up, jewelry, gifts for the bridal party. Lots of driving around. And it seemed where ever we drove to, I couldn't take my eyes off the mountains. Craning my neck in the back seat of the car, twisting my body so that I could always keep them in sight. I asked Mary if she has gotten tired of the views yet and she says absolutely not. This is the view from my bedroom in Mary's house. I would stand there every morning and gaze at the mountains for a while before starting my day.
Friday

The options are unlimited today for highlights. Mountains. Real snow-capped rocky spires reaching 14000 feet into the sky. Driving the cool Jeep Commando, which handled beautifully, for hours over plains, foothills, rivers, and most especially up and down winding mountain roads all the while listening to Dead Can Dance and Delerium. Seeing loads of wildlife along the drive-prairie dogs, chipmunks, marmets, mountain squirrels (which have funny tufted ears), elk and coyote! How cool to see a coyote?! Chatting pleasurably on the drive about anime, music, friends, family, movies, tv shows-anything and everything! Coming around a bend in the road to a parting between the foothills to see looming ahead of us the bright white peaks of the largest mountains I have ever seen. Finding in the Rocky Mountain National Park gift shop these postcards with some of the most lovely poems I ever read on them and buying one of each one they had. Driving up steep grades and tight u-turns, through snow and almost past the timberline until we reached the highest point that we were allowed to go-2 miles above sea level or 10,560 feet-because directly in front of us a gate blocked the road with a big sign saying road closed. We could go no further because the road wasn't plowed yet. Realizing that the snow bank I was driving beside was taller than the Jeep, and witnessing some adventurous soul snow-shoeing up the side of the mountain with his snowboard strapped to his back so that he could come back down the exciting way. Not getting altitude sickness at 2 miles up after hearing all the warnings from everyone about headaches, nausea, puking, etc. that almost made me nervous sick just in anticipation of being that high and maybe getting sick! I still lost my breath after a slow lap around the parking lot and almost froze my fingers off though! It was worth it for one of the most breath-taking views in my life. Seriously, this one ranks up there with the volcanoes in Hawaii. I could have stayed up there all day. After squeezing out every precious moment would could spare in the park, finding a great rock shop just outside of the entrance with gorgeous crystals and gemstones. I could have spent all my money in there! As it was I bought a lovely crescent moon pendent with a larimar gemstone that I am just in love with. Seeing a town blanketed with elk, they were every where! Lawns, parking lots, shopping centers, driveways, fields. Can you imagine? Elk where ever they damn well felt like being. Finally, after another great drive in the Jeep around curves and down mountains, back home and meeting up with friends to go out to dinner at an excellent asian cafe that served alot of food for not much money! Can you pick one thing from that? I don't think I can!
Thursday